I'm qualified to enter the Talent Competition Finals!
Well, most importantly, I get my 5 extra free tickets.

Just went for an audition for a talent competition, and I think overall went well, hope we can get to the finals, then we can get 5 extra free tickets. And i was quite surprised that my colleagues actually willing to come to support  me for the competition WITHOUT me asking them, I never thought that our relationships was in such a level where we can hang out outside office hours. This is actually the first time, it's quite... pleasant actually.

In any way, I am currently binned to a web design job that I regretted taking. There are so many more better things to do than to earn this puny little money. $50 for a logo, and I spent 10 hours amending and amending for him, and in the end he already get someone to do it for him, and in the end i wasted my efforts and time. now he wants me to design him a website? I don't think so. I'll tell him to engage other designers.

Busy busy busy. Busy with dance, busy with Centre events, busy with work, so many backlogs to dispatch. Detox camp is in another 14 days, I hope it will give me the rest I need from all these. Too bad some people can't go though.

Oh! Something happened yesterday that actually made my day. How often do you hear people compliment you? Especially from your supervisor? I used to tell her that I learn nutrition, and that I can cook and I do housework, and upon knowing that I participated in a talent competition, and that I dance, she remarked "怎么你好像什么都会啊？". I guess I accidentally portray myself as a multi-talented person, which I'm far from it. But it still feels good that someone actually think highly of me though.

Well, it's a lengthy post, but I heard expressing my thoughts helps in brain activities, and that's what I think I need, reviving my never-think-things-through brain.

Today, I woke up with a very unpleasant feeling.
Most probably because of the dream I had.
Basically there was a mini nuclear going off in this building, and I as an oracle, somehow predicted it and managed to escape. On the way, I saw this woman and I was compelled to convince her to get away from the building, and she just smiled like I was crazy and continued walking into the building. And BOOM! the nuclear went off. Most of the victim died, and those who survived, was turned into a ghoul due to the radiation. And I saw that same woman again, part of me felt that I caused her to be the way she is now. I have no idea how the guilt got carried over from my dream.

God, that feeling sucks!

Well, the year is ending, and although it might be too early I'm still gonna do an early new year review anyway.

Comparing to earlier this year, things didn't really improve financially for me. I even lost the low paying job that last only for 9 months, so now I'm doing graphic freelance. Everything went quite smoothly at first, but it isn't enough, if this goes on for another month I'm afraid I'll have to go back to employee mode. But I can't go back, not when I already built the momentum. I'll have to find another way.

There are moments during my period of unemployment that wasn't particularly pleasant, it was really awful and stressful. But I'm really glad my sister doesn't give up on me, and I managed to break through my psychological barriers, even if it might just be a minor one.

But out of all the things mentioned above, 1 particular event stood out from the rest. Thinking back there are so many things that I could have done better that could otherwise prevented all of this from happening. We could have spent Christmas, New Year, and even her Birthday together. Heck, I even thought that maybe if I hasn't dragged her into the centre we could have been together now. No matter how much I tried to suppress it, I still boiled up whenever I think about the stupid restriction and rules.

I miss you, like a hell lot. 

Consider yourself a piece of art. Choose wisely the artists who will mold and form you. The company you keep will either sharpen you into being a better man or make you mediocre by your desperate need to fit in. Hanging out with partiers? You will have many hangovers. Chilling with the intellectuals? You will be smart. Keeping company with successful businessmen? You will follow in their footsteps.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn

http://goodguyswag.com/5-types-of-friends-a-good-guy-should-have/

Hey, I know we haven't seen each other or even talked in a long time.

But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I want you to know that I miss you.

Not like"I regret what happened" or even "I want to see you again." just "I miss you."

It's strange to think that someone I used to know so well is now a stranger.

But this isn't regret. We had reasons for ending it, and they're as valid as ever.

I guess what I'm saying is, I hope things are good with you. I hope everything is great.

A small part of me hopes that you still remember what it was like before all the reasons...

and that you miss me too.

Building a new habit.
Stretching the boundaries of my Comfort Zone.
Time is not as abundant as I thought after all.

Well, now that I'm I've finished my contract, I'm officially "self-employed".
I'm trying not to use the word "jobless", as it subconsciously promotes laziness and urges me to find another job. "So you are not going to get another job!?" Well, yes. I'm currently trying out earning income through my digital skills. So far so good, I aroused curiosity through the character designs I posted on FB. Denise from NYPSO suddenly consulted me on whether there are any video tutorials to create the design that I made. Initially I thought she was having some Animation project, only later that I realized that she is actually engaged and would like to create her own wedding animation for her wedding next year, and she is considering my service. A good start I would say.

My brother suggested that I create a jokes animation on youtube, and earn from their sponsorship. Hmm...

I read this story of Jay Chou, about how he as a kid actually struggled with his studies and social life. I really think having someone who believes in you indefinitely can shape/change one’s destiny. My utmost respect to his mother who endured his father’s abusive nature and public’s negative rambling, and yet able to raise him single-handedly. She literally gave all her time and money to him. Comparing to other mothers in general, how many would spend all their savings to buy their sons a grand piano and Cello to develop their son’s interest? How many would persevere and find ways to enroll their son into a good school even though the school have repeatedly rejected their application? How many would still believe that their son is not an idiot even though their teachers and principals labeled them as mentally handicapped? How many would visit their son every day at work just to be assured that he is doing well?

Insanity is doing something over & over again expecting different result.
I beg to differ... to a certain extent.

Gaining Weight, at the stomach.

Got to start working out.

I think my office trained me well.
Making a call is not as terrifying anymore.

Gonna enroll into University, but which one? I've not yet decided.

That's another reason why I'm lazy to get a full-time job now,

who would want to hire someone who is about to go Uni.

And my current Temp Job's contract ending soon.

I'm thinking I should try out freelancing while waiting for Uni.

I could get some income and full control of my time.

Asked my supervisor if I could work 3 days a week instead,

she could only give me 4 working days with Wednesday off. 

Oh well, better than nothing. 1 full day to do my freelancing.

"I should plug out my internet cable on that day", is what I wanted to say.

But who am I kidding, internet has become a necessity in my life,

no mater in a positive or negative way.

I'm facing my office computer right now,

a little sleepy and groggy.

It's lunch time and supervisors are not around.

Got a few cases to do but seriously sick of doing the same thing over and over.

...What the hell am I doing...

My laptop should be burned,
It's like a mousetrap for human!
It's essential to my income but a time waster at the same time!
Damn you internet!

May reminded me something that I’ve been trying to ignore all these while.

“What a waste of talent!”. Yes, what a waste of talent.

What was I thinking going into admin?

“Then are you stuck? You don’t feel adequate going into Media, and you don’t like admin. What’s stopping you from further upgrade your skill? Are the software expensive?”

Honestly, software is not a problem as I have my way to get them cheap.

So yeah, what’s stopping me? I can’t come up with any excuse but to admit that I was just plain LAZY.

So what am I going do about it?

Reminder to this month :

-         - Start Daren’s Wedding, Sinnee’s Video & Massage Palor’s Animation

-         - Buy a bigger backpack for tools

-         - Buy a Samsung Galaxy S1 Battery

-         - Pay Telephone Bill

My Gosh, everything is money related!

First time doing strangers market,
didn't really turn out as expected, but it's a good training.
You wouldn't believe how nervous I was,
I think I almost made a fool of myself.
This will be a good story in the future. Hehe

How could someone be so stubborn and nonchalant?

Never have I seen someone who has lost so much hope in life before.

So emotionless, so selfish, it's kind of... dark... and scary.

Damn it, you think your life revolves only around you? That would be one sad life you are having.

Have you ever thought about how your friends would feel? What about your parents?

Shit... how many times do I have to tell you that's it's not only about you, but also the people around you!

Just got back from Detox Camp.

It was an awesome experience, the whole staying in a hotel thing.

Realised how acidic and toxic my body is. My whole body was sore most of the camp.