Well, the year is ending, and although it might be too early I'm still gonna do an early new year review anyway.

Comparing to earlier this year, things didn't really improve financially for me. I even lost the low paying job that last only for 9 months, so now I'm doing graphic freelance. Everything went quite smoothly at first, but it isn't enough, if this goes on for another month I'm afraid I'll have to go back to employee mode. But I can't go back, not when I already built the momentum. I'll have to find another way.

There are moments during my period of unemployment that wasn't particularly pleasant, it was really awful and stressful. But I'm really glad my sister doesn't give up on me, and I managed to break through my psychological barriers, even if it might just be a minor one.

But out of all the things mentioned above, 1 particular event stood out from the rest. Thinking back there are so many things that I could have done better that could otherwise prevented all of this from happening. We could have spent Christmas, New Year, and even her Birthday together. Heck, I even thought that maybe if I hasn't dragged her into the centre we could have been together now. No matter how much I tried to suppress it, I still boiled up whenever I think about the stupid restriction and rules.

I miss you, like a hell lot. 

Consider yourself a piece of art. Choose wisely the artists who will mold and form you. The company you keep will either sharpen you into being a better man or make you mediocre by your desperate need to fit in. Hanging out with partiers? You will have many hangovers. Chilling with the intellectuals? You will be smart. Keeping company with successful businessmen? You will follow in their footsteps.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” -Jim Rohn

http://goodguyswag.com/5-types-of-friends-a-good-guy-should-have/

Hey, I know we haven't seen each other or even talked in a long time.

But I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I want you to know that I miss you.

Not like"I regret what happened" or even "I want to see you again." just "I miss you."

It's strange to think that someone I used to know so well is now a stranger.

But this isn't regret. We had reasons for ending it, and they're as valid as ever.

I guess what I'm saying is, I hope things are good with you. I hope everything is great.

A small part of me hopes that you still remember what it was like before all the reasons...

and that you miss me too.

Building a new habit.
Stretching the boundaries of my Comfort Zone.
Time is not as abundant as I thought after all.

Well, now that I'm I've finished my contract, I'm officially "self-employed".
I'm trying not to use the word "jobless", as it subconsciously promotes laziness and urges me to find another job. "So you are not going to get another job!?" Well, yes. I'm currently trying out earning income through my digital skills. So far so good, I aroused curiosity through the character designs I posted on FB. Denise from NYPSO suddenly consulted me on whether there are any video tutorials to create the design that I made. Initially I thought she was having some Animation project, only later that I realized that she is actually engaged and would like to create her own wedding animation for her wedding next year, and she is considering my service. A good start I would say.

My brother suggested that I create a jokes animation on youtube, and earn from their sponsorship. Hmm...

I read this story of Jay Chou, about how he as a kid actually struggled with his studies and social life. I really think having someone who believes in you indefinitely can shape/change one’s destiny. My utmost respect to his mother who endured his father’s abusive nature and public’s negative rambling, and yet able to raise him single-handedly. She literally gave all her time and money to him. Comparing to other mothers in general, how many would spend all their savings to buy their sons a grand piano and Cello to develop their son’s interest? How many would persevere and find ways to enroll their son into a good school even though the school have repeatedly rejected their application? How many would still believe that their son is not an idiot even though their teachers and principals labeled them as mentally handicapped? How many would visit their son every day at work just to be assured that he is doing well?

Insanity is doing something over & over again expecting different result.
I beg to differ... to a certain extent.

Gaining Weight, at the stomach.

Got to start working out.

I think my office trained me well.
Making a call is not as terrifying anymore.

Gonna enroll into University, but which one? I've not yet decided.

That's another reason why I'm lazy to get a full-time job now,

who would want to hire someone who is about to go Uni.

And my current Temp Job's contract ending soon.

I'm thinking I should try out freelancing while waiting for Uni.

I could get some income and full control of my time.

Asked my supervisor if I could work 3 days a week instead,

she could only give me 4 working days with Wednesday off. 

Oh well, better than nothing. 1 full day to do my freelancing.

"I should plug out my internet cable on that day", is what I wanted to say.

But who am I kidding, internet has become a necessity in my life,

no mater in a positive or negative way.

I'm facing my office computer right now,

a little sleepy and groggy.

It's lunch time and supervisors are not around.

Got a few cases to do but seriously sick of doing the same thing over and over.

...What the hell am I doing...

My laptop should be burned,
It's like a mousetrap for human!
It's essential to my income but a time waster at the same time!
Damn you internet!

May reminded me something that I’ve been trying to ignore all these while.

“What a waste of talent!”. Yes, what a waste of talent.

What was I thinking going into admin?

“Then are you stuck? You don’t feel adequate going into Media, and you don’t like admin. What’s stopping you from further upgrade your skill? Are the software expensive?”

Honestly, software is not a problem as I have my way to get them cheap.

So yeah, what’s stopping me? I can’t come up with any excuse but to admit that I was just plain LAZY.

So what am I going do about it?

Reminder to this month :

-         - Start Daren’s Wedding, Sinnee’s Video & Massage Palor’s Animation

-         - Buy a bigger backpack for tools

-         - Buy a Samsung Galaxy S1 Battery

-         - Pay Telephone Bill

My Gosh, everything is money related!

First time doing strangers market,
didn't really turn out as expected, but it's a good training.
You wouldn't believe how nervous I was,
I think I almost made a fool of myself.
This will be a good story in the future. Hehe

How could someone be so stubborn and nonchalant?

Never have I seen someone who has lost so much hope in life before.

So emotionless, so selfish, it's kind of... dark... and scary.

Damn it, you think your life revolves only around you? That would be one sad life you are having.

Have you ever thought about how your friends would feel? What about your parents?

Shit... how many times do I have to tell you that's it's not only about you, but also the people around you!

Just got back from Detox Camp.

It was an awesome experience, the whole staying in a hotel thing.

Realised how acidic and toxic my body is. My whole body was sore most of the camp.

I'll be back a better person and friend.

I will, I will yes I will.

I entered this Buddhism community recently, gets to know new people.

It was very awkward at first, but everyone warms up to each other after a few months.

We organised a Mother's Day Party and even managed to came up with our own Mother's Day appreciation video. Suddenly everyone seems familiar and close.

I asked one of them what makes him stay in this community.

And he answered because he can feel that everyone is sincerely wants to be your friend.

There are no mask at all. Everyone is on their natural look.

=====================================

During a makan session with my mentors, I was advised to read more self-improvement books.

I chose to read "How to make friends and influence people".

In the book, I read that you have to be genuinely interested in someone for them to be genuine towards you.

Upon reading this sentence, suddenly Cherry came to mind.

Cherry, from NYPSO.

Cherry, who used to be... different

I used to be puzzled by her transformation.

Within a span of a year, she instantly became the centre of attraction.

She loves being with people, and people love her!

And I assumed it was because she has embraced the above principle.

I've been inspired lately by a movie and I've decided to jot down my thoughts.

In life, we are constantly bombarded by other people's opinion.
The end result is the person you've become. Your character.
Unfortunately, the majority of the World's population practice almost, if not, the same mindset.
I think it is very rare to meet a person who have a unique mindset of their own.
These people, when you met them, stood out like an odd ball.
They are usually meant for something big... or just plain attention seekers.
I believe that everyone in this world has a 贵人, who would change the course of your life forever, in a good way.
If you don't, most probably you haven't met yours yet. Or you just didn't realize they are your 贵人yet.

Yes, everybody has a 贵人, but if you are not matured enough, he will just pass you by and miss the chance.
Most of the time, they would still encourage you, motivate you to leave the cage of your comfort zone and upgrade you. This phase requires you to have a leap of faith, jumping to an unknown boundary, and most of the time, you will fall, but it's okay, it is human to err. But once you made it, not only that you expand your comfort zone, you would land in the MAGIC ZONE, that's where miracles happen.

This movie I've watched "3 Idiots" is a bollywood movie which was introduced to me by a friend.
Initially he mentioned that it is a comedy, till I realised at the end of the movie that it is actually an inspirational movie... okay with some comedy elements.
The story is about these 3 guys who made it into the Imperial College of engineering, with a very competitive environment.
2 of which were enrolled upon their families expectation, whereby "Rancho" enrolled simply because of his passion for machines.
Along the course of studies, Rancho's conventional way of problem solving go against the school method of teaching, whereby each students were expected to stick with existing solutions with restricted imaginations.
The 3 idiots came together by fate when they were assigned the same room.
Along the way, with Rancho's help, the other 2 idiots, who were blindly following the school's system starts opening to his conventional way of thinking, and saved them from a few would be unfortunate incident.

That's all for the write up, hope it aroused enough curiosity for you to watch it. Below is the link, and I really recommend any of you to watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aVbquQRUxI

甲：多媒体系对我来说是一个擅长，可是我不是很喜欢。又有些功课压力会让我有一点讨厌它。我在想是否可以转科转系？

乙：你的目地是为了逃避不是为了追求梦想。逃避永远不会得到答案的。你从一个地方逃到另一个地方，你永远不知道那个地方是不是更苦。而且就算那个地方不苦，你也只不过找了一个 SECOND BEST,第二好的答案。但是所谓的人生如果我们有选着的话永远要追求的是第一好的。是你真正最喜欢，是你真正即使被折磨，被人家给予很多挫折你还是愿意往前走。 那才是真正的方向。

Day 1 without games.

Yesterday I got the urge to listen to 五月天 music during my lunch break.

And at the same time I was thinking about the things I could do once me and my family had the privilege to own the stage. I could totally imagine myself 演讲 with confident and after all that slowly walks to my drumset with my brothers and sisters going up the stage on standby.

"1... 2... 1, 2, 3, 4!"

And with a loud bang, the multi-colored mobile stage light beams the whole place as we start our music. Jokko on the Vocal, Johannes on the Guitar, XP on the keyboard and I'm keeping the beat with my drumset. As we played, the footage of me and my groups adventure were flashing on the white screens for all the audience to see.

And then I closed my eyes, letting myself immerse in my imagination, I could see from the eyes of the future me. The audience, the cheer, my family, and most importantly... the EXPERIENCE. flashing back to how it all started, of all the hardship I went through to earn the right to be on stage, and how proud my late father would be. I could finally prove to my dad that I am not the same uncaring, timid, pushover, useless kid I used to be. I finally fulfilled the promise I made with you on your dying bed about being able to take care of myself. At the front VIP seat, mom was smiling, cheering and clapping for us, as if saying that she is proud of all of us, and occasionally wiping her watery cheek.

One day, all of us WILL perform on stage, and the whole atmosphere will be just like 五月天concert.

梦想永远是逆光

只有剪影的模样

会有什么细节

什么体验

不要只猜想

You know that situation where you wished someone hadn't tell you something? Even if they did, please have some facts to back them up. who knows what kind of misunderstanding or misconception the person listening will come up with. Is this what they called "Ignorance is bliss"? Damn, I would do anything just to get the information out of my head.